would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
