Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
