It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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