Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
you never un-have a 4some
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
