someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
