Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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