they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
