The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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