He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Why is your signature on my underwear?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
