You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
