My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize