Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
