bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
