Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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