Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
