He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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