He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize