That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
