you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
