Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
