You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
