please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
