I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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