She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
not ubering you a puppy
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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