Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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