I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
