Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
