Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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