i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
