My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I am one with the molecules
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
