did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
