He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
