No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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