HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize