I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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