some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
