my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize