Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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