Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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