If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
