Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
