Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
