I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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