whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize