Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Then you guys just all showered together...?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
