oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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