There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
