Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My butt remains clenched, sir.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
