I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
