paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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