For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
