You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
