his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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