do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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