Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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