I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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