my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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