Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
