Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
