Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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