Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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