I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
