remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
